Weren't satisfied with your delectable Horoscopes alone? Here's more Asstrology for you.


Unsure of where to go now? Tis simple, my caveman-at-heart friend. ♥


Asian Zodiac -- Find your inner Asian. 2009 is the Year of the Forsaken Douche. Well, handsome, are you a Douche? A Vagina? Which clever and absurdly poor-taste Asian Zodiac sign ARE You?!


Love and Asstrology -- Don't hit those video dating personals just yet! Find out what makes you tick - the stars don't lie... but I just might...


Past Lives -- Find out what you were in your past lives. Simple as that. Duh.


Dreams -- Don't let those other dream interpretations on other Asstrology sites fool you. They lie. They wouldn't know true Asstrology if it was outside their Asstrology Office waiting to give them chlamydia. Which it will be... oh yeah. Where was I? This is the TRUTH. THE REAL DREAM DICTIONARY. THE ONE THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO SEE. Amen.


Skybloke's Tarot-- Skybloke's the best when it comes to his Tarot Readings. "What is Tarot?" you ask? Tarot is a way of reading into the future with flashy cards and a probing aura. It won't hurt. Much.


Ask Moulder-- If you haven't noticed already, I hold the keys and answers to everything in my back pocket. Which is why the act of me, the greatest sorcerer in the world, answering your pathetic questions such as "Moulder, why can't I get laid?" or "Moulder, is it okay if I hump the corner of my stone carved couch?" is a pretty huge selfless act. But that's me. Selfless Moulder, at your service. By the way, you're not getting laid because you hump your rock-hard furniture. Simple as that.


Moulder's Inspiration-- Having a lousy day? Need a pick me up? Need a bit of encouragement and sexy inspiration in your life? This is it, handsome.


Craig's Predictions-- Craig is a damn fine rock star. The fact that he's channeling his rockstar powers for more than groupies and drugs is baffling. Just watch and see how accurate his predictions are. I dare you.


Astronomy and You-- See how the stars, planets, and more above create the drama and everythings that go on in your day-to-day life. It's surprising... and conniving. That damn meddling universe!!